Top 7 tips for choosing the right divorce lawyer

When asked about choosing the right divorce lawyer, Laura Wasser (a.k.a Kim Kardashian’s divorce lawyer) was quoted as saying:

“In seeking a lawyer, you are looking for an advocate, an expert advisor on the law and on your rights and responsibilities, a strategist, a negotiator and a litigator.”

While that may seem like a long list, choosing the right divorce lawyer is the first and most important step in your divorce process. But how do you find the perfect advocate if you don’t have reality star millions?

Here are my 7 top tips for finding the right divorce lawyer for your case:

1. How much of the lawyer’s practice is devoted to family law?
2. Was the lawyer referred to use by a former client or trusted advisor?
3. Does the lawyer charge an initial consult fee?
4. Did the lawyer make you feel comfortable during your initial consult?
5. Do you think the right divorce lawyer will get you everything your want?
6. Was the lawyer knowledgeable about the issues in your case?
7. Is the lawyer’s practice style aligned with your goals?

1. How much of the lawyer’s practice is devoted to family law?

While I only practice family law, there are many attorneys who consider themselves “general practitioners.” These are lawyers that handle all kinds of cases, such as personal injury, criminal matters, wills, etc. I have had many cases over the years with such lawyer and have found them, on the whole, to be knowledgeable and devoted to getting the best resolution for their clients.

However, I have also found that because these attorneys don’t practice family law all the time, they can sometimes be unaware of recent updates in the field and are less experienced in unusual family law issues.

Still, and perhaps most frustrating, some general practitioners do not actually like the practice of family law and only take divorce cases for the fee. In those cases, that lawyer can actually hurt the case and rack up enormous fees simply because they don’t know what they are doing. You don’t want to hire someone like this.

Therefore, before you choose the right divorce lawyer for your case, review their bios on their firm’s website (here’s mine and don’t judge the photo please!) to see what areas of law they practice and whether they specialize in family law.

Some states also have special certifications for family law attorneys. While this is not available in all states (Pennsylvania does not yet have this) and is certainly not a requirement to be a effective family law lawyer, it can be another indication of the attorney’s knowledge and commitment to this field.

2. Was the attorney referred to you by a former client or a trusted advisor?

I get my clients from all sources. However, just like a great hairstylist or a general contractor, the best recommendations for the right divorce lawyer are from those that have seen him or her in action. In fact, I think the best referral I can get is from a former opposing party! It’s happened.

Similarly, if you have an accountant, therapist, life coach, or other professional whom you trust, ask him or her for a recommendation. They often work with divorce attorneys and see the clients’ interactions with them as well as the results achieved (or not).

Obviously, there is nothing wrong with finding an attorney through a google search or even the yellow pages (do they still have those?). In fact, many of my clients come in through our firm’s website. However, make sure you review the lawyer’s bio and be ready to ask questions.

3. Does the lawyer charge an initial consult fee?

This may seem like an odd tip for choosing the right divorce lawyer but hear me out. I charge an initial consult fee and most family law attorneys I know do as well. The fee is less than my hourly rate and the consult always lasts longer than an hour, so the client is getting a discount.

I think that by paying the attorney, you will have a more productive initial meeting. This allows you to better assess whether you want to hire them as your lawyer. I mean, how do you know if this person is going to understand the issues in your case if you don’t really talk about them? Having them just get basic info is not going to give you the insight that you need to make a decision. Also, I think people take things that they pay for more seriously. I know that I do.

What will the right divorce lawyer give you during a paid initial consult?

Also, during most paid for consults you are going to get some actual substantive legal advice. For example, I often provide a preliminary assessment of the assets and calculate how much the client could pay/receive in support. I also always offer the client a plan of action as to what he or she should do next. I think that’s a lot of information for the same cost as your cable bill (well if you have Comcast anyways).

In contrast, lawyers who offer free consults generally limit them to a short period of time. It usually takes me at least 15 minutes to get the basics from the client before we can actually talk facts, figures, and strategy. If the free consult is only 30 minutes, how much information are you going to get in the last 15? Not much. Your divorce is an investment in your financial future. Don’t cut corners on the first step.

4. Did the lawyer make you feel comfortable during your initial consult?

Simply put, did you like the lawyer during your initial contact with them? Do you trust them?

On average, most cases take approximately a year from start to finish. So, I spend a lot of time with my clients during that period. There are some that I have contact with on almost a daily basis. I know everything about their finances, including where they buy their groceries and what their children got for Christmas.

Do you want someone that you don’t like (or more importantly, trust) knowing that information about you? No? Move on.

5. Do you think the right divorce lawyer will promise they would get you everything you want?

If the answer is yes, this is not a good thing. Now I know your thinking, why wouldn’t I want an attorney who told me I would be awarded 100% of all the assets and my ex-spouse would be exiled to Siberia?

Because they would be lying!!

Attorneys who give their clients unrealistic expectations are setting their clients up for failure. I always tell my clients that I give them realistic expectations because if I did not then they would be “doublely mad.” (Trust me, doublely is a legal term).

First, the client will be mad that they did not get what they wanted. Second, the client will also be mad that I lied to them and will feel betrayed. Get it, doublely made? You get it.

No divorce lawyer can get a client everything they want. Don’t believe it if they say they can. Finding the right divorce lawyer is finding someone who is going to explain the law to you and the likely resolution of your case based on that law. I promise it will serve you better in the long run.

6. Was the lawyer knowledgeable about the issues in your case?

Just like snowflakes, no two family law matters are the same. That’s why I’ve been practicing it for over ten years. It may be stressful, but being a divorce lawyer is never boring.

Do you have unusual issues in your divorce? Such issues would include complicated financial matters, immigration concerns, addiction issues, or a custody case involving special needs children. If the answer is yes then you want to make sure that you choose the right divorce lawyer who can understand these issues and has a plan to address them.

Not sure? Ask them!

While the attorney may not be able to lay out a detailed blueprint for how to resolve your case in the initial meeting, the lawyer should at least be conversant with the applicable law and have a general plan for how to address the issue.

7. Is the lawyer’s practice style aligned with your goals ?

Not all attorneys are going to work well with all clients. Some clients want someone who is very aggressive. Others want someone who will settle their case quickly and without drama. Still others want something in the middle.

What kind of lawyer do you want?

Think of it like dating. I know, who wants to think about dating when you are getting divorced, right? Trust me, the analogy works here.

Just like dating, not all first dates end in true love. So if you don’t think this person is the right divorce lawyer for you, then swipe left to the next one.

Do you think you have found the right divorce lawyer for you? Read my essential tips for saving on your legal fees.

Related: Drafting your essential divorce team players.

Have questions about choosing the right divorce lawyer? Let me know in the comments!