Keeping Your Engagement Ring after Divorce?

A wise woman once said, “Cause if you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it.” But what if you did that and now want to take it off? I think there is a lot of misinformation out there about whether a spouse has to return an engagement ring after divorce. In this article, I hope to dispel your misconceptions. I also hope to give you some ideas of what you can do with your engagement ring if you are ready to do the single lady (or man!) dance again.

Broken marriage = keep the bling (generally)

While states may disagree as to whether you can keep an engagement ring after a broken engagement, they are less divided on the treatment of a ring upon a couple’s divorce. In fact, most states consider an engagement ring pre-marital property and not part of the marital estate for distribution.

This makes sense, doesn’t it?

First, the engagement ring was given before the marriage, the very definition of a pre-marital asset. Second, because you got married (hence the need for a divorce) the condition for the gift was met. Therefore, the ring will generally stay with its’ recipient without it being considered part of the property division.

Some states (or parts of them) think you should return an engagement ring after divorce.

However, there are always exceptions to the general rule. Interestingly, my own state, Pennsylvania, takes a split approach to whether you have to give back your engagement ring after divorce. In western Pennsylvania, the courts have found that the ring becomes marital property upon marriage and therefore is a marital asset for distribution. North Carolina also appears to agree. However, eastern Pennsylvania, where I practice, takes the opposite view. Here, we consider the ring pre-marital property which doesn’t need to be returned.

Want to make sure that you get to keep your engagement ring after divorce? If you are concerned about what will happen to your engagement ring, you can always specify it as pre-marital property in your prenuptial agreement. Are you the one giving the ring and want to make sure that you get it back? You can specify that it be returned in your prenup too!

Can you keep your engagement ring after divorce if it was upgraded during the marriage?

Sometimes, a couple will replace an engagement ring or upgrade the diamond during the marriage. If that happens, then, a party could make the argument that the ring increased in value during the marriage. Thus, that added value is a marital asset.

I’ve actually never had someone argue for this. I’m not sure if that is because most people don’t get a new (and usually bigger) diamond during the marriage or if it’s because they don’t wish to fight this fight. I really don’t blame them.

I think it would be difficult to calculate the actual increase in value to the ring, particularly if you didn’t value the ring prior to the upgrade. Remember, personal property is generally valued at fair market value (i.e. what it is worth if you tried to sell it today) and not what it was purchased for. Therefore, if you are concerned about quantifying the addition to value in the future, I would suggest having the ring appraised both before and after the modification. This would be the easiest way to prove the engagement ring has marital value.

Related: Contemplating a separation or divorce? Start speaking the language of divorce law.

What should you do with your engagement ring after divorce?

I find that clients have a lot of thoughts about what to do with their engagement ring after divorce. However, there are lots of ways to make a unwanted engagement ring work for you.

First, you can sell it. For example, Roxbury Jewelry works closely with divorce lawyers, mediators, accounts, and financial advisers to help client value and sell their jewelry, like engagement rings. They are a private company so you know that they will treat your sale with discretion and attention. This kind of personalized experience makes for a much better shopping and selling experience than EBay, don’t you?

Second, I have had clients who sold their rings and put the proceeds in their children’s college savings accounts. I’ve always really liked the idea of using the money for a joint benefit. You can also agree to save the engagement ring after divorce for use by future generations.

Third, I have even had some clients who have turned their engagement rings into other kinds of jewelry. Perhaps you can use the diamond as a pendant for a necklace? Some may feel that it is bad luck to keep an engagement ring after divorce. However, others don’t see it that way. Whatever you do with your engagement ring after divorce, make sure that you deal with it in a way that feels right to you.

What if you’re the one that wants the engagement ring after after divorce?

So what if you are the person that wants the engagement ring returned to them after divorce? The easiest way make sure that you get back your engagement ring after divorce is to put it in your prenup! Otherwise, it may be difficult if you live in a state where the ring is considered pre-marital property.

You may be able to argue that it is a family heirloom and thus was always on “loan” to you. This may be difficult to argue but it is worth a shot. However, I would hope that a spouse who knows that the ring has been in your family for generations would be willing to give it back. Even if they don’t agree to return the engagement ring after divorce, perhaps at the very least, they’ll agree to preserve it for the next generation. However, if you want the ring back, you are most likely going to have to bargain for it in the property division.

Think it is unfair that an ex doesn’t have to return an engagement ring after divorce? What did you do with your ring after your divorce. I want to know about it! Leave me a comment or question below!