During the first week that I started working from home because of the Coronavirus, I got a few calls from potential clients looking to step up initial meetings with me. Frankly, I was a little surprised. Didn’t they know we were in the middle of a national pandemic? How could they still be thinking about getting a divorce during COVID-19 when it feels like the sky is falling?
But then I took a second and thought about it. Your life hasn’t stopped during the Coronavirus has it? Changed, yes. But stopped? No. Mine either. So, it made sense that people that wanted a divorce before the Coronavirus reached our shores would still want to get a divorce during COVID-19. Are you in the same boat but aren’t sure what getting a divorce during COVID-19 looks like?
Well as I like to say, don’t worry, I got you! Today I’ll put to rest your concerns about whether you can still get a divorce during the Coronavirus. I also give you some tips on what you should be doing while you are at home to help you get a divorce during COVID-19.
Can I still meet with an attorney about getting a divorce during COVID-19?
Yes! Most lawyers, myself included, are still working a full schedule, albeit remotely. During this time, I’ve help phone consultations, coordinated the signing of a custody agreement, and dealt with numerous questions from clients about following their custody orders (or not) during COVID-19. This week I’ll be participating in an arbitration via Zoom and preparing a prenuptial agreement!
So yes, divorce lawyers are still working during the pandemic, and are making every attempt to help you get a divorce during COVID-19. Or, at least helping you get as close to getting one as we can. But are you worried that because you don’t already have a relationship with a lawyer, it may be hard to hire the right divorce lawyer during this time? Or are you concerned that you won’t be able to have an initial meeting with them about your case?
Don’t worry, almost all attorneys are still offering initial consultations. Some are even doing them via video chat. While I don’t necessarily think my clients want to see me in my sweatpants, I can understand why a potential client would want to see his or her potential lawyer to help make sure that they are hiring the right attorney for their case.
The desire to actually see one another goes both ways. I held all my pre-COVID-19 consultations in person. I found that it helped me form a connection with the client that I just don’t get by talking to them on the phone. Plus, I hate not knowing what my client looks like when we go to court for the first time. So, it makes sense that potential clients and attorneys would want to try to recreate this connection via a video chat consultation. And hey, if you are like my clients, you might even get a surprise cameo from one of my dogs!
Am I considered separated from my spouse if we are quarantined together?
Are you worried that still living with your spouse during this period of social distancing will affect your date of separation? Are you finding it difficult to stay in the same house with someone that you don’t want to be married to anymore? If so, you aren’t alone. Even some celebrities have been forced to remain living together during COVID-19 after they have broken up.
Usually, after a couple decides to end their marriage, one of them decides to move out of the house. And while moving is allowed under most stay at home orders, most couples are still living together, at least for as long as they can stand it. Why?
Some spouses simply can’t afford to move out because they are worried about Coronavirus job loss. Other couples believe staying together during this time of uncertainty is what is best for their children. Others just simply have not had the opportunity to look for a new place to live or are having difficulty hiring movers, signing a lease or getting a mortgage, etc.
However, living together, particularly during this extra-ordinary time, will not automatically change the fact that you are separated from your spouse. Why is this? A party can still be considered separated while still living in the same place. Of course, if you live in a state that allows/requires you to file a document indicating a legal separation, then I would still try to file that document while under quarantine to be safe.
So what does it look like to be separated in the same house? The spouses sleep in separate bedrooms and stop all sexual contact. They no longer eat or attend events together (even if those events are simply sitting on the same couch watching Hulu). Also, in addition to separating physically, they change their financial arrangements and their lifestyles.
You can do most of these acts of separation while you are staying at home during the Coronavirus. Here are some examples of how to establish a separation if you want to get a divorce during COVID-19:
- Watch TV in different rooms;
- Move into the spare bedroom or basement (if available);
- Eat meals separately;
- Schedule Zoom happy hours with other friends and family;
- Separate your finances and change your direct deposits and withdrawals;
- Shop around for new cell phone or car insurance plans; and/or
- Change your passwords on your electronic devices.
Even if you are allowed to move out, should you?
I know that you may be desperate to get away from your estranged spouse, hence why you want to get a divorce during COVID-19. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be stuck in a house with a person that you would, under normal circumstances, like to never see again. But your emotions aren’t the only thing that you should be considering right now. You should also be considering how leaving could affect your finances.
Can you afford to live on your own? Do you have enough for a security deposit or a down payment for a house? How’s your credit? What will you do if you lose your job because of the Coronavirus? What if you can’t get child support right away? It is difficult to get assets appraised right now and the stock market has been over the place! Do you have any idea of what your property distribution will be when you get a divorce during COVID-19?
I could go on with the questions, but I think you get the picture. In this time of uncertainty, it may not be a good time to take on additional debt or make major financial decisions. I know this may not be what you want to hear. However, you must take a hard look at your financial situation and how this virus may affect it before doing anything to get a divorce during COVID-19.
Are the courts and mediators still working to help you get divorced during COVID-19?
While divorce attorneys are definitely still working to get you a divorce during COVID-19, the court’s workload has decreased. Most courts are closed and operating on a limited basis, like dealing with custody emergencies. Hearings have been postponed and while some documents can still being filed, most are just waiting for court workers to return to process them. This may include your divorce complaint or your divorce decree.
This may be another reason that we will see a divorce spike after the Coronavirus. It simply logistically difficult, or in some cases, impossible to get a divorce during COVID-19 because some courts are not processing new filings. For example, in some of the counties that I practice in, the courts do e-filing, meaning that the documents that I file can be “accepted” without a person needing to be in the courthouse to open the mail. However, there are still courts that only allow you to file documents in person or by mail. In those cases, documents may not be getting filed because the courthouse is closed to the public and they are only checking the mail on a limited basis, if at all.
If you are worried about being able to file for divorce or get a divorce during COVID-19, you should check with your court to see what they are (and are not) doing during the stay at home orders. What is being done by the courts to get you a divorce during COVID-19 greatly varies. Many courts are doing their best to keep cases moving by waiving certain appearances, conducting hearings with video chat and relying on email to communicate with attorneys. Meanwhile, other courts aren’t being as proactive to help parties get a divorce during COVID-19 and, as is my experience, are limiting their actions to emergency custody or abuse issues.
So what can you do if the Court can’t help you get a divorce during COVID-19?
Now is an excellent time to examine whether mediation would be right for your case. Why? Because mediators can take on some of the duties that the Court system isn’t performing right now.
Mediation is an alternative to litigating your divorce before a judge. Instead of a judge deciding where your kids live or who gets the house, a mediator can help you and your spouse reach an amicable resolution on custody, property and/or support related issues. Most mediators, like most divorce lawyers, are still working during COVID-19. Therefore, they can step into the role of the judge (somewhat) to help resolve your case and move forward your divorce during COVID-19.
Are mediators still conducting mediations during COVID-19? Mediators are using video chat to conduct sessions and can send out documents and agreements via email. Some video chat programs even have an ability to put participants in different “rooms” during the the sessions, recreating the mediator’s office as much as possible.
However, mediation may not be the answer to your all your problems. Some cases and some couples are not a good fit for mediation. Also, mediators can not actually issue divorce decrees. But, they can help move your case forward so that, when the court system does open up again, you are much much closer to resolving your case and getting a divorce during COVID-19.
Interested in mediation but not sure if it is right for your case? Check out my article about the pros and cons of mediation. Also, if you have a lawyer, they will be able to tell you if mediation is a good fit for you.
What can I do now to help prepare to get a divorce during COVID-19?
Finding yourself with some extra time on your hands while we all stay at home? Want to use this time to help you prepare to get a divorce during COVID-19? Or after? Here are some tips for things that you can do to help your case while you are stuck inside. Not only will doing these action steps help you get closing to getting divorced, they will also save you legal fees!
- Research health insurance options if you will need to obtain your own medial insurance after divorce;
- Pull your credit report and fix any mistakes;
- If you plan on keeping the house after separation, contact your bank to start discussing refinancing options;
- Need to have certain assets valued? See if you can do so remotely? If not, at least choose an appraiser who can help you after the stay at home orders are lifted, or, speak to your spouse and see if you can come to an agreement on numbers;
- Gather your financial documents and send them to your lawyer in an organized fashion;
- If you are missing necessary account statements, order them from the bank or relevant financial institution;
- Contact an attorney to obtain a will; and
- Change your beneficiaries on your retirement accounts (if allowed).
Have you recently separated from your spouse and not sure what to do next? Sign up for my weekly newsletter and get my free “Just Separated from My Spouse” Checklist as a thank you. Use this time at home to make sure that you get everything done on the list!
So what are my major tips for getting a divorce during COVID-19?
While it may be hard to get a divorce during COVID-19, it isn’t impossible! Keep in mind these tips to move your case forward while we are all stuck inside:
- Find an attorney and schedule a phone or video consultation;
- Take steps to establish (or re-establish) your date of separation while still living together during quarantine;
- If your court system is closed or operating at limited capacity, research whether mediation is right for your case; and
- Use this time to prepare yourself, your case and your finances so that you can get a divorce during COVID-19 or as soon as possible after the stay at home orders are lifted.
Please continue to stay safe, stay sane, and most importantly, keep washing your hands!!!
What’s next on the Divorce Lawyer Life?
April 15th has been tax day for as long as I, and most Americans, can remember. But not this year. Still, it isn’t too early to make sure that you divorce-proof your tax filings. Want to know how? You’ll have to wait for next week’s post for the answers.
Don’t want to miss out on my tax advice for divorce persons or any of my other Coronavirus-related information? Or, want to make sure that you don’t miss any of my tips and tricks for navigating the divorce process post-Coronavirus? Make sure that you sign up for my weekly newsletter where I recap the week’s articles and provide some additional promos and content just for my subscribers. You’ll get a FREE post-divorce checklist just for signing up!
Or, have you just separated from your spouse and don’t know what to do first? Or after that? It can be difficult to determine where to start first. Don’t worry, I got you! Get my FREE checklist for what to do when you are newly separated. You don’t want to miss it!