School’s out for summer! Well at least in my neighborhood it is. Is school out for the year where you live? I must admit, I do long for the days of summer vacation. Who doesn’t? While your kids are excited for no more homework, you may not be sharing their enthusiasm for summer break. This is because summer can bring up unique child custody issues for separated families. However with communication and planning, you and your co-parent can easily get through these summer child custody issues and still have time to enjoy those summer nights.
In this article I will talk about:
- Changes to the physical custody schedule during summer months;
- Traveling with your children;
- Childcare, Camp and Extra-curricular activities; and
- Getting ready for the next school year.
Changes to Your Physical Custody Schedule During Summer Months
Some families have different physical custody schedules for the school year vs. the summer months. This could be for a few reasons:
- The parents do not live near each other. Therefore, it is difficult for the parent who lives far away to have custody of the children during the school year. This is very common when one parent relocates out of state.
- One parent is in the education field or is employed in another type of seasonal work which allows them to spend time with the children during the day.
- The parties agreed or, the court decided, that the children should live primarily with one parent during the school year. This may be because the children have special needs or other issues which would make transitioning back and forth between the parents’ homes a stressor while in school. Courts are generally reluctant to implement a custody schedule which is going to cause a child to struggle. As a trade-off, the court will give the parent who has less time during the school year (i.e. partial physical custody) more summer child custody because the school issues are not present.
What should you do if you have a different summer child custody schedule?
If your custody schedule changes in the summer months, it is critical that you review your agreement or order carefully to make sure that you are following the summer custody schedule. It may also be a good idea to talk to your lawyer before the schedule starts so that you are clear as to what the schedule is and what your obligations are.
Most importantly, you should prepare your children for the change. Children thrive on routine. Therefore, if your custody arrangement drastically changes in the summer, they may feel thrown off and act out. Make sure that you prepare them well in advance for the transition so when it does come, they aren’t stressed or confused. If you are okay with the shift, they will be too.
Related: Child custody terms you need to know.
Are you traveling with your children during your summer child custody time?
Summer months generally mean travel. Do you have a vacation scheduled with your children for this summer? Want to get a head start on planning one for next year? Before you start packing your bags, here is a checklist of things to consider:
1. What does your Custody Order or Agreement say about vacation?
Most of the summer child custody agreements that I prepare allow each parent two weeks of summer vacation with the children. Those two weeks are generally taken in one week blocks. They also generally have a notice requirement, which requires that the traveling parent let the other parent now the dates of their vacation within 30 or 60 days of the intended travel. Finally, the traveling parent is also required to provide their itinerary (flight numbers, hotel, train number, etc.) to the other parent.
Does your summer child custody agreement have any of these? If so, make sure that you are abiding by the terms. Otherwise, the other parent could argue that you are in violation of the agreement and file a petition to prevent your vacation. If you don’t have a custody agreement yet, I suggest that you ask for similar provisions to be included. These are mutual provisions, meaning they apply to both parents equally. Thus, I don’t often find them to be a source of contention.
2. Does your summer child custody travel start on your weekend?
One of the biggest fights that I see about summer vacation is that it may result in one parent having three consecutive weekends with the children. You can avoid this by scheduling your vacation to start on your weekend so that it ends before the other parent’s weekend begins.
If this is not possible, I urge you to work with your coparent to switch weekends or provide them with some other make-up custody time. The last thing you want to do before you travel is to be spending money on your lawyer to work out this issue. Save your funds for the gift shop.
3. Does your summer child custody travel require a passport?
Summer is often a time for traveling abroad. If your children have passports, make sure that you are in possession of them. Some summer child custody orders require that passports be held by one parent or, in a neutral location such as a safe deposit box. If retrieval of the passports require both parents, make sure that you ask your coparent well in advance of your vacation. Your attorney can’t help you if you call the day before with this issue.
The trickier issue is if your children do not have passports. The procedure for how to obtain a passport for minors varies, depending on whether they are under the age of 16 or are between the ages of 16 and 17. However, if you and your co-parent share legal custody, both of you need to agree to get your child a passport unless there is a court order to the contrary. Make sure you visit the U.S. State Department Travel site to review what is required to obtain passports for your children. Again, if you need your coparent’s assistance to apply for a passport, make sure that you ask them well in advance of your intended travel.
4. Does your summer vacation involve airline travel?
Some airlines require an affidavit or a letter from the non-traveling parent indicating that they are aware of and agree that their child can board the plane without them. This requirement can apply to both international and domestic travel. As you can imagine, the airlines want to protect themselves in the event that the travel is really part of a child abduction and not a summer trip to Disney. Therefore, please make sure you research your airline’s requirements and comply. Again, if you need your coparent’s agreement, make sure you ask in advance.
Even if the airline doesn’t explicitly require written consent from the other parent, it may be a good idea to get one anyways to avoid any issues. Our Family Wizard has some great examples for travel consent forms that you can use.
Does your Summer Child Custody Schedules involve Childcare Arrangements, Camp and/or Extra-curricular Activities?
While your children may have their summer days free, chances are you do not. What are your children going to do while you are at work? Generally, summer child custody requires you and your coparent to make additional child care arrangements that are not required during the school year. Make sure you discuss them and agree. The costs should be shared similar to how the school year child care expenses are allocated.
Summer time is also a great opportunity for children to participate in activities that they would not be able to be involved in during the school year, such as camp, sports, or educational programs. Here are some questions that you need to answer about your children’s summer schedule:
1. What activities have your children expressed an interest in?
Are they interested in science camp or traveling soccer? Or both? If there is a dispute between the parents, the Courts will generally look at what children want to do and what they have done in previous years.
2. What is the cost?
In general, the cost must be reasonable and in line with the parent’s incomes. A court will not order a parent to share the cost for a $30,000 sleep away camp when that is not consistent with the parties’ finances. This will be the case even if the children attended the camp previously. The reality is that parties do financially better together than they do apart. Therefore, even if you had the monies for certain summer activities in the past, the court will review your present financial situation to determine if the expense is reasonable and should be incurred. In short, the court will not force you to forgo paying your mortgage to send your child to basketball camp with Kobe Bryant.
3. Does the other parent disagree with the activity?
Sometimes, parents can not agree as to whether children should participate in a certain summer camp or activity. If that is your case, the courts, in addition to cost, will look at the other parent’s reason for disagreement. Generally, the other parent’s approval should not be “unreasonably withheld.”
So when is it okay to say no? Some valid reasons include:
- The child doesn’t want to participate in the activity and would rather do something else;
- The location of the activity requires excessive travel or expense;
- The activity conflicts with the parent’s vacation plans; or
- The activity would severely impact the other parent’s custodial time.
Stumped for what to do with your kids this summer? Verywell Family has some great examples of clubs and activities that they can get involved in.
Summer child custody time also includes getting ready for the next school year.
It seems like the ads for school supplies start earlier and earlier each year. While you may be able to put off buying pencils and glue until August, you shouldn’t put off resolving where your children will be getting their education next year. Remember, the court system is slow. If you and your coparent disagree as to where your children are going to attend school, the time to act is now!
Related: Essential tips for choosing the right lawyer for your case
Generally, the courts will order that a child attend school where they attended school previously, unless the parties no longer live in that district or the cost is prohibitive. If this is your child’s first year attending school and you want to register him or her, you need to discuss it with your coparent first. School is a legal custody decision. If you have shared legal custody you should be making the decision jointly. So how do you do this?
Provide the other parent with any information that you have about the school. If you are taking a tour, encourage them to come along. Sometimes school disputes can be avoided if the other parent simply feels included in the decision.
However, if you and the other parent can not agree, then you may need to go to court to decide what school your child will be attending in the fall. Again, the court will look at where the parties live, the cost (in cases of private school), whether the child has special needs, and the school district rankings. If you find yourself in a school choice dispute, I highly suggest that you seek counsel to discuss the specifics of your matter.
Related: Hacks for the first meeting with your family law attorney
My major takeaways to set you up for summer child custody success.
You can have a great summer with your children as long as you communicate with your coparent about these summer child custody issues. Need a reminder of what they are? Here you go.
Make sure you ask them well in advance for any forms, documents, or passports that you need to ensure your vacation plans run smoothly. If you have a disagreement regarding camp or activities, first try to work it out with them before turning to the court system. Finally, if you believe there will be a dispute about school for next year, address with your attorney now. Some simple advance planning can make sure that you have a summer with your kids that they will remember into their adult years.
Have you encountered any other summer child custody issues? Comment below!
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