How Does Child Custody Affect Child Support?

One of the first things I talk about with a new client during their initial divorce consult is child support. This makes sense to me. Child support and child custody are immediate concerns for anyone beginning the divorce process. How you pay your bills and where your kids will be sleeping each night is often more pressing than how you are going to divide up your retirement assets that you can’t touch (without penalty!) 20 years from now.

Although the court system will often deal with child support and child custody at separate hearings, they really do go together. In short, who has physical custody of the children is going to get support. Full stop. But, how child custody affects child support doesn’t just stop there.

Want to know more? In this article I will explain:

• How support is calculated varies by state;
• Who has physical custody of the children affects child support;
• Shared physical custody doesn’t mean you will not pay or receive child support;
• Why you shouldn’t use child support as a reason to ask for custody of your children; and
• Custodial time isn’t necessarily affected if the person paying child support doesn’t pay.

How child support is calculated varies by state.

First, an apology. I’m not going to be able to tell you exactly how much child support you are going to receive or owe. Why? How your child support obligation is calculated is going to be based on where you live. And, guess what? States use different kinds of methods for determining child support! I know fun right?

Although guidelines exist, federal law allows each state to set its own rules, and quite often states measure support using a very different yardstick.”

CBS News

So why do they vary so much? Because the states use guidelines (i.e. mathematical formulas) not children’s actual expenses to determine a child support obligation. And, just like the flavors at an ice cream shop, there are different kinds of formulas for calculating support. Again, I said this was fun. Also, who wants ice cream?

For example, some states, like Pennsylvania where I practice, use the income shares model, where they look at both parties’ net income available for support and determine how much the non-custodial parent pays the parent who has custody of the children.

Still others, such as Mississippi, North Dakota and Texas don’t take the mother’s income into consideration. That sounds just crazy to me! Are you from one of these states? If so tell me about this in the comments or send me an email!

Therefore, it is important that you seek counsel in your state to help determine your potential support obligation or award. Or, if you are interested in seeing what your support obligation would be in your state yourself, check out this article by Alllaw.com which provides links to every state’s child support calculations. Trust me, I’m bookmarking this one.

So with this disclaimer in mind, let’s keep going.

Who has physical custody of the children affects child support.

In general, the party who has primary physical custody of the child is going to be the one receiving child support. So what does that mean in plain English? The person who has the kids the majority of the time is going to get a monthly payment from the person who has the children less of the time.

This is because child support payments are supposed to help the parent who has custody of the children pay for their basic needs such as clothing, utilities, food, etc. If they live with you the majority of the time you are going to have more of those expenses than the person who has the children less. Got it? Good.

Your children should not have to suffer because of your divorce. They still need new shoes, lunches and tickets to the movies. Child support helps to fund all of those things in addition to helping the custodial parent pay for basic household expenses.

The person receiving support doesn’t have to report where the money goes.

A lot of my clients who are paying support complain that they don’t know how their support money is spent by the receiving party. In general, the court does not audit how a monthly support award is used. Remember, basic child support is calculated using a formula and not with specific children’s expenses in mind.

An exception to this would be for certain expenses above a basic support obligation such as camp, daycare, private school, or after school activities. Again, check your state’s rules on this. However, if you have a concern that the money is going to purposes other than supporting your child, I suggest raising them in custody court vs. support court.

Why? For example, if you think that your former partner is using the money for drugs or to pay off a gambling debt, then it may not be in the best interests of your children to continue to live with that parent. This is an issue for custody court. Then, if custody is changed, a change in support will naturally follow.

However, if you are simply frustrated that you had to pay for a haircut or buy new shoes for your children a few times, this is not enough to warrant a change in custody or a review of child support. Remember, support is intended to also be used to pay the mortgage and the water bill. Payment of those expenses also benefits your children. The court is not going to find your former partner’s choice to use support money to pay the rent and not for a new pair of Nikes unreasonable or inappropriate.

Shared physical custody doesn’t mean you will not pay or receive child support.

I get asked about this a lot. In fact, I thought about including it in my article about Divorce Myths. A lot of my clients assume that when you have shared (i.e. equal) physical custody of the children, you don’t pay child support. While again, every state is different, this is not necessarily true.

You may be saying to yourself, but we have the kids equal amounts of time, why should I have to pay the other parent support, or vice versa? Again, it’s about the kids and their needs.

Let’s use an example. Mom makes $150,000.00 per year. Dad makes $50,000.00 per year. They have shared physical custody of two children. Mom makes three times what Dad makes. Do you think that the children are having their needs met in the same manner at Dad’s house vs. Mom’s?

The purpose of child support is to meet the needs of the children and to provide stability and consistency between the households. The only way to do that in the above scenario is for Mom to pay Dad.

Is it fair that Mom has to pay Dad child support in this shared custody/child support example?

You may be saying, Liz, there is no possible way for these households to be equal even if Mom pays Dad. That may be true. Child support formulas are not perfect and, by their nature, don’t address each family’s circumstances. But by having the parties “share” income i.e. through child support, you have a greater chance of equality than without it.

The other side of this argument is that, if Mom has shared custody then she has the kids half the time, isn’t she already paying half their expenses? Isn’t it unfair to Mom to pay Dad when she is also meeting the children’s needs during her custodial time? Yes I agree to a point. That is why many states would take Mom’s shared custodial time into consideration when calculating her support obligation.

For example, in Pennsylvania, Mom would get a 20% adjustment (i.e. a discount) on her basic support obligation. This discount considers the fact that she is also paying for school lunches, electricity, and Nikes. However, her obligation is not completely extinguished because again, the court is trying to make the households as consistent as possible for the children.

Are child support guidelines a perfect system to deal with children’s expenses? No way. But it is the one that we have. Understand it and you are already ahead of the game.

Don’t use child support as a reason to request primary or shared physical custody of your children.

Unfortunately, this is not uncommon. Instead of being motivated by what is best for their children, parents sometimes will fight for a certain kind of custodial arrangement simply to get support or to avoid paying it.

Have you seen this in your own case?

I generally see this after I tell someone the amount of their child support obligation. Again, I get it. The formula says that is what you owe but your monthly bills say, no can do. Remember what I said about a flawed system?

However, getting out of child support or getting more of it should never be a factor in determining where your children should live. It is not for the courts and it should not be for you.

In fact, I have seen this backfire on parties. If the judge thinks that a parent’s sole motivation is money, either through testimony or ahem, text messages (its always in the texts isn’t it?), all of that parent’s evidence is going to be look at with a tainted lens.

If you are worried about money, my suggestion would be to settle your divorce, custody, and support matters. Resolving your case without litigation is the ultimate money saver.

Custodial time isn’t necessarily affected if the person paying child support doesn’t pay.

Let me set up another example for you: Dad owes Mom support for two children. Dad is self-employed so he can’t have his wages garnished. Therefore, it is up to Dad to make his monthly support payment. Dad is behind on support payments by three months. However, Dad still has custody of the children every other weekend. Mom complains, why does he get to see the kids when he’s not paying for him?

Seems logical right?

It definitely does. Unfortunately or fortunately (your opinion), child support is not a pay to play system. Meaning, that you don’t pay child support in order to get to see (i.e. play) with your kids. They aren’t a ride at Disney World. The purpose of child support is to provide for the reasonable needs of your children. And while we can certainly argue that Dad is not helping to meet those needs by being late on his support, Mom can not withhold the children from him because of it.

I get it. It seems unfair.

However, as I have said before, child support and child custody, while logically linked in the minds of the parents, are not always linked in the minds of the court. Therefore if your former partner is behind on support, you need to file something with the child support agency of your state to get them to pay. Engaging in self-help i.e. withholding the children, is not going to get you the money and may get you in trouble with your custody judge.

Do you think you understand how child custody affects child support?

So when you think about child support remember the following:

• How support is calculated varies by state;
• Who has physical custody of the children affects child support;
• Shared physical custody doesn’t automatically mean you will not pay or receive child support;
• Why you shouldn’t use child support as a reason to ask for custody of your children; and
• Custodial time isn’t necessarily affected if the person paying child support doesn’t pay.

I can’t say enough about how the child support system is flawed. However, you need to understand how it works and get past your frustrations with it. Do so and you’ll be on your way to your best post-divorce life!

Have a question about support? Just want to complain about (or explain) the system in your state? Let me know in the comments!